I know, I know…I said we weren’t going to be doing any two-week papers this summer. I spoke too soon. There’s so much going on right now, so much developing, that we’re FORCED to do at least a few two-week papers…so here’s the first of them. We’re doing it smarter this time, though…we’re doing this two-weeker, then a three-week, then two-week, then three…and might just keep up that pattern right through the election before we take a vacation. So now you know our schedule. If you’re planning a murder or arson or something of that magnitude, please watch our deadlines and make sure you conduct your criminal activity at maximum impact potential. Thanks.

You all think we’re kidding…I wish we were. Seems like some of these crims and corrupt out there tend to screw up at the most inopportune times for their exposure, like when people are reading our freshly-posted e-Edition or PRINT HEADLINES…which is what I’m here to bring you right now (a week after the paper has hit the stands, but...we're already sold out in many locations, so I figured you might want a little impetus to get yourself an online membership and avoid the crowd and the sold-out locations). Print Headlines are a rundown of everything in the print edition presented to you with a link right to the e-Edition in case that’s your preference. This is a way you can tell what’s in the issue on the stands and decide whether you should run right out and get one before they’re gone…a problem that has become e a possibility with this issue. When you see the headlines, you’ll understand why. Print Headlines are presented by dateline first (the area of the coverage where the material in the article took place), headline/link, and it’s followed by a brief synopsis in our snarky Disclosure style. They are laid out here by order of appearance in our paper (basically): Front Page, Back Page (our second ‘front page’), Pages 2 and 3, Features if any (generally Pages 12 and 13), Egypt, Heartland and Central, followed by the out-of-place opinion pages (page 4…that’s why I say “out-of-place”) material. And so now, without further ado, here are THIS ISSUE’S PRINT HEADLINES.

FRONT PAGE

Amanda Wells for real, and Amanda Wells pretend.

CRAWFORD CO. - Park beatdown real-life Springer episode: You can’t make this stuff up. And who would WANT to? Oh wait…Jerry Springer would want to. That’s how he makes his money. How WE make OURS is to cover the idiocy that comes from the kind of people he features on his moronic show. As we say….morons gonna moron…and a couple of em moroned their way right onto the front page.

Jason Kasiar

SALINE CO. - State rep candidate threatened by own political party member: Of all the people who are turning on candidate for the 118th Representative District Jason Kasiar, now a prominent party member in Saline had to threaten Kasiar. What did Kasiar do to bring this on? You’ve been reading about it. We’re the only ones telling you about it. This is self-destruction in slo-mo, and you have a ringside seat…long as you keep reading. (Note: Due to production tiredness, we mistakenly datelined this one “Lawrence County” instead of “Saline County.” We’ve been so busy we forgot to do a “typo gods got us” as yet….we’ll get that. In the meantime, have a laugh on us.)

LAWRENCE CO. - Bridgeport man says he was targeted by lawmen: How bad can it get with bad cops? While America seems to be waking up to the fact that some - NOT ALL - of our cops in this country are being trained to be brutal, arrogant, pusillanimous bullies, Lawrence County has been at the forefront of that very thing, leading the way for about a decade and a half…and we’ve been covering it for 13 of those 15 years. So this multi-part series should come as NO surprise to ANYONE.

RICHLAND CO. - Assault at agent’s hearing: A deeper recap of the nonsense that occurred at Rick White’s latest hearing, which some dweeb in Wayne County said didn’t happen. Really? So the judge, the prosecutor, the witnesses and everybody else involved just imagined it…? The lengths people will go to in order to cover up for Rick White continue to stun us. And naturally, no other media outlet is covering this. At all. So pick up this issue.

LYLE GENTRY

JASPER CO. - Deputy charged with DUI: Yet another local lawman had a few too many - allegedly of course - and went for a drive. Most of them don’t get caught. This one couldn’t quite avoid it, however, after crashing into something (we don’t know what…ISP wouldn’t give us the report). But we actually have coverage…which is different than your local mainstream media.

BACK PAGE

EDGAR CO. - Absence of DNA evidence overlooked at trial: Edgar County has become infamous for convicting people who didn’t commit crimes. Now, here’s another one. Look for the follow up to this in the next edition, as the outcome has already been released (and, actually, told in this article)…but be sure you read this, as it tells you everything leading up to it.

Marcus Householder

GALLATIN CO. - Alleged robber formally charged in S’town heist: The state charges against the troubled young guy from Kentucky who is alleged to have robbed Grand Rivers Community Bank were filed the day he was caught…the federal charges have come quickly behind them, however, and unfortunately take precedent. Nevertheless, read details about the matter here.

Susan Alford

SALINE CO. - Marion woman accused of $53k theft from Eldorado trucking company: There seems to be a lot of alleged theft/proven theft going on around here. Folks, you wonder why it’s so expensive to do business in southern Illinois? This would be why. Between the public officials stealing from their employers (we the people/taxpayers, which drives up our taxes and fees) and the private citizens stealing from their employers (we the consumers, which drives up prices for goods and services), nobody can afford to live here anymore except the thieves. And when they run out of things to steal, they’ll just go off to another location and do it. Like locusts or space aliens.

PAGE 2

WHITE CO. - Bizarre Judge Morgan sends child back after EOP/OP dismissed; Blades still involved: Think we don’t have problems with judges in the Second Circuit? We most assuredly do. No sooner do we get rid of problem judges in the form of retirement than the ones who weren’t causing problems before suddenly have a brain cramp and decide to become arrogant and callous. And then, there’s Melissa Morgan, formerly Drew, who has apparently only ever BEEN arrogant and callous…and that’s caused a lot of problems for people in her area of coverage. Here’s another.

PAGE 3

Kim Smith, looking not quite as fancy as the LAST front pager where her face appeared

POPE CO. - Correction/amplification - Mayor’s name wrong in front-pager; former treasurer court dates coming up: As predicted, Kim Smith, the day after street date of this issue, waived her preliminary hearing and is moving on with her multiple-felony count case through Pope County Circuit Court. Also, in this article we show you why Mayor Aly’s name was published as “Bailey.” You gotta see it to understand. BONUS: We finally got Smith’s mug for this one, too.

EGYPT

SALINE CO. - Caught near housing sitting in the middle of the road with 55-inch TV sticking out of cart: Hey. If you’re gonna shoplift and get caught, GO BIG OR GO HOME.

SALINE CO. - One of three gunmen in standoff charged in April burglary: And it’s not Brian Potts. Because burglary’s not his thing. It’s just standoffs and such.

SHIRLEY A. ADAMS

SALINE CO. - Cocaine-dealing respiratory therapist’s bud gets busted with pills: When you can’t even trust people in the medical community with dope anymore, well…you know that Obamacare has firmly taken hold.

SALINE CO. - Convicted felon takes drug stash shoplifting with her: Come to think of it, most shoplifters in Saline DO.

GALLATIN CO. - Hoosier tosses bag of weed out of the car: What would you rather be charged with - Holding (misdemeanor) or Obstruction (felony)? I don’t think this guy from Indiana understood the difference here in Illinois.

SALINE CO. - Harrisburg man wanted on active warrant busted in car not his with plates that didn’t match: I could think of a few other infractions he could have committed besides all of this. Not a LOT, but…a few.

AMANDA SCOTT

GALLATIN CO. - Fairfield DUI chick busted with weed, maybe: She came all the way to GallCo to get busted when she could just as easily have stayed in Wayne and got busted. And the outcome probably would have been largely the same because they have the same quality of do-nothing prosecutors!

HARDIN CO. - Rosiclare drug dealer jailed for delivery: The return of one of the Fentanyl Five. It was just a matter of time.

SALINE CO. - Violent repeat offender charged with attacking disabled woman: Because if you’re a violent repeat offender, you just don’t have enough going wrong in your life; you have to exacerbate it a little get charged with attacking someone disabled.

GALLATIN CO. - Perrone found with pills on person: But enough of the alliteration….

HARDIN CO. - Suspected meth cook/mule posts bond in drug case: Sometimes we know what’s going on with these Hardin County cases. Most of the time, however, we have to wade through lack of details and try to just figure it out on our own.

SALINE CO. - Harrisburg career criminal busted for stealing from his mother…again: Eli Nipper. Need we say more?

HARDIN CO. - Beaten pill peddler said to be working with Rosiclare attacker to deliver dope: Now here’s one of those coming out of Hardin County that we didn’t have to work too hard to figure out…enough details included to tell the tale.

GALLATIN CO. - Golconda, Ridgway and Harrisburg men tagged with DUIs: Because apparently, Gallatin County was THE place to be to get your DUIs in June. Also, ISP was setting up roadblocks/checkpoints. We try to tell you in advance when that happens. You need to pay attention when we put those posts up here at the website.

HARDIN CO. - Multiple traffic crashes and DUI drivers keep Hardin County prosecutor busy: It’s really not hard to keep Tara Wallace busy, though. Click this.

WILLIAM STETSON LEVI BAKER

GALLATIN CO. - Norris City man busted with meth, weed and needles: Really…is this THE Tammy Jackson bonding this guy out…? The mind boggles.

SALINE CO. - Older family members made targets of theft by their own: Well…the Bible said this would happen in the end times. And if we’re not in the end times, Idk where we are.

HEARTLAND

JASPER CO. - Blue Northern doesn’t pay insurance bill: Add this to the list of people/places/entities Blue Northern has had file claim against them, and got a judgment…and Blue Northern (the biodiesel plant, turning useless soybeans into inferior “fuel”) doesn’t pay. The rest of us would be found in contempt and jailed.

DAVID DEVIN

CRAWFORD CO. - Former sheriff’s candidate has OP filed against him, dismissed weeks later: Dave Devin. We predict that his self-destructive ways are about to reach a pinnacle. What, exactly, that means for him and for those around him, however, remains to be seen.

MARSHALL - Stunner: Marshall Township illegally donating to a religious organization - Taxpayers oblivious: We’ve been covering this for a few issues now. And it’s been getting progressively worse. You in Marshall want to know why your taxes are so high? Take a look at your city and township and see what they’re funding with YOUR tax dollars.

I just lurv this composite...

JASPER CO. - Olney man facing DUI drugs, fleeing charges in Newton - ATV crash charged as alcohol-related: Quite a bit of crossover from one county to the next in this issue. Also, there’s this Utley guy which the duly-elected prosecutor can’t prosecute…and he’s had to bring in Rollover Rands to handle it, so Rusty oughta be aight.

CRAWFORD CO. - Drug dealer runs from cop and lands in jail: Always a bad idea; and we always point that out. But I guess this guy hasn’t been reading us. Somebody do him a solid and send him a copy of this one.

JASPER CO. - Hair-pulling lands violent Newton man behind bars: Isn’t this the activity of little girls…? I mean, really, cmon dude…

KELLY CESSNA

CRAWFORD CO. - Harley “used in commission of meth crime” up for forfeiture in Crawford: Kelly Cessna, who looks about 25 years older than his mid-40s, has lost his ride…because someone confessed to have paid for it with dope funds, and because it’s alleged to have been used in the commission of a Crawford County dope crime. Next time, Kelly, use an old beater for your alleged dope deals. That way you don’t have so much to lose.

JASPER CO. - A usual assortment of misdemeanors plague Jasper court in June: The misdemeanor report for Jasper County. Really, it’s generally an amusing thing; you should read it!

CRAWFORD/LAWRENCE COs. - Lawrence teen charged with molesting Crawford Co. girl: We’ve seen pics of the girl. She doesn’t present herself as a girl. That’s not an excuse…but it MIGHT be a defense.

CLARK CO. - Bad driver, felon, was passenger in fiery car crash: The late-June wreck that killed two men from Brocton in Edgar County to the north of Clark could have been avoided if authorities in DeWitt County had been doing their jobs…

CRAWFORD CO. - Woman sentenced, teen charged and men face felonies: The Crawford County felony report.

CENTRAL

TRAVIS L. HAMMOND

WABASH CO. - Keensburg sex offender chases 12-year-old home, then breaks in: WHAT is it going to take to lock this idiot up?? Have you been following what he’s been doing? We’ve been chronicling it. Hit this link to see all of it if you have an online membership to the e-Edition.

RICHLAND CO. - Noble woman jailed after fighting with Richland County sheriff: Always a bad idea, fighting with any law enforcement authority.

LAWRENCE CO. - Pair busted with dope on Lake Lawrence Boulevard: Another Swain has been arrested on dope charges in Lawrence…and many are wondering fi this is going to lead to more federal indictments.

WHITE/SALINE/GALLATIN COs. - Junction woman facing charges in three counties: Myranda is looking bad. And apparently, it’s because she’s been busy in many different counties. This one could be in Egypt just as easily as in Central, but we opted for Central because Egypt is already full.

CLAY CO. - Louisville-Flora-Xenia sex offender attacks family member, police say: That Rodney Washington sho nuff get aroun.

RICHLAND CO. - Indy man with Cali address busted with beaucoups weed: And now, we know (in part) where a lot of the weed in Richland is coming from.

WABASH CO. - Woman who beat herself then blamed boyfriend bonded out by boyfriend: We reported on it when it first happened, but we didn’t have the mugshot. I’m not gonna give it to you here for free. You need to click on the story here and see it, though. You DO. This, btw, is an e-Edition Xtra.

WABASH/LAWRENCE COs. - Bridgeport convicted meth-head busted in Wabash with running buddy: It doesn’t get much worse than an ex of Cameron Jones. Unless, of course, you’d want to include one of her running buddies from, natch, St. F.

LAWRENCE CO. - Friend of drug dealer’s ex charged with dope possession: An e-Edition Xtra, and all about possession of meth…because it’s Lawrence County. What ELSE would it be about, except maybe child abuse.

RICHLAND CO. - NEWS FLASH: No major drug roundup in Richland this month: The headline says it all. But…see what WAS going in over the past month.

WHITE CO. - Prison punk popped for Page burglary: More alliteration. Yes, you can blame me. I’ve won awards for headline-writing.

CLAY CO. - Arrests continue over synthetic stimulant known by street names of Flaka or Gravel: Why anyone would use this crap is absolutely beyond me. But the popularity of this one seems to continue to grow.

CURT EDGAR DILL

EDWARDS CO. - Mt. Carmel meth cook gets busted in Grayville: Another Dill. This one, Curt.

WHITE CO. - Carmi cocaine/meth dealer facing White County DUI: It’s not bad enough that this individual gets messed up in the worst dope possible…but then the DUI comes because he can’t seem to drive without having a beer between his legs.

TIMOTHY S. KLINGLER

RICHLAND CO. - Olney man jailed for threatening to kill woman: But, judging by the looks of him, he didn’t fare the best, either.

HAMILTON CO. - Hamilton DUI report includes Enfield teen: People from all OVER getting popped in HamCo, and there wasn’t even an ISP checkpoint!

WHITE CO. - Crossville man jailed for battering girlfriend: Click it to check out his mug. He ain’t too broken up over it.

WABASH CO. - Wabash County drunk driving report includes two from Mt. Carmel and one from Dugger: And the local gal couldn’t get out of it, even dressed to impress like she was.

BRIEFS FROM AROUND THE DISCLOSURE AREA: Tried to run over police officer / Galatia teen tops Hamilton thieving report / ‘Also known as’ Carmi woman facing felony charges / Hot checks to Food Park lands woman in hot water / State wants doper dealer’s bling and cash / Damaging property on Piopolis Road / Pear Street woman beats 2-year-old, police say / Flora teen charged in four burglaries / Enfield teen jailed after weapon found in car / Proboscis punch earns attacker weekends in jail / White drug, forgery suspect charged with Wabash

OP-ED

COLUMNS
SURLY & UNCOOPERATIVE (Jack): The maturity process of this writer explained
ICY (Ang): No eulogy for Eugene; just and ode to the Alpha female predator Tippiedoodle
MINKUS INK (Bubba): Hillarybeast: defender of LGTBQ, supported by those who hate them

VOICE OF THE PEOPLE (Letters)

Back Over Your Tales: From the pages of the July Special Edition 2011